Starts and Finishes

Man...two weeks before I leave! What a crazy milestone. Times like these really make me think about so many things, all the starting and finishing that are going on in my life right now. Routines I'm leaving, adventures that are waiting for me, people I'm leaving and the poeple that I will be meeting and the comforts of home that I am trading in for unknown challenges and adjustments of a foreign country. This move creates a crazy dichotomy of emotions and honestly it is making me crazy with anxiety and unfortunately mangnifying my hypochondria...LOL Most people who know me know that I am a borderline hypochondriac. I actually like to think my hypochondria is just one of those entertaining and interesting little facoids that makes Charlotte...well Charlotte. Secretly at times I can secretly acknowledge that this phobia is just plain crazy! But most of the time I just can't help myself! I truly CAN NOT listen to anyone describing an illnesses OR INJURY without mentally doing a quick internal check on myself for the symptoms. Seriously! IT IS insane! No matter if it is an illness or injury my mind briefly dwells in the "awwww...poor you" moment but quickly goes into full launch of "crap, I might have that!" In my crazy I have had full-on instant Lupus, Scoliosis, immediate need for a hip replacement and appendicitis...just to name a few. And my crazy doesn't just apply to me...I also give my friends illness to. My friend Hank was telling a group of us how he had recently had completed a series of rountine and annual cancer screens and that the results were all fine. Something took a wrong turn in my mind and in my version as I retold the story to a another group of friends, Hank had "survived" cancer!!! Luckily Angie and Tina were there when Hank told the story, totally called me out on it and had me correct my error!

However, that scenario just reminded me of how I don't do well with illness. I guess if I examine this emotion carefully it probably stems back to the fact that both of my parents were younger than I am now when they past away. My Mother from cancer and my Father from heart disease. In a past professional incarnation I worked as an Admission Coordinator at a nursing home and there is nothing there but death and illness under the guise of upscale senior living facility. My job was to "sell" adult children that our facility was the best place for their parents that could no longer live independently. An in all honesty the place was really really nice but the unspoken "thing" in every pre-admission tour with adult children was that their parents would not be living our facility alive. Not to be "Debbie Downer" or anything but just making the point that maybe my hypochondria has some basis of reality. I better move onto something else before I am totally depressed. Anywho...I guess I need to work on letting all that stuff go in the vien of finishing things:-) Truth be told other than being a little rubenesque I really don't have any serious health problems with the exception of a bit of hypertension that is completly managable with medication...and if I change my diet and exercise regualarly I can totally come off the meds.

So finish my conversation about that I am going to get some debiltating illness and start talking about how healthy I am because I do healthy things. Soooo other starts and finishes. There are several things I'm starting with my move to Spain and this is the place where I want to hold myself accountable. Running is a new first for me. I technically have already started in December but I MUST continue is running consistently. It's also a tribute to my sister Nicole who started running in August of 09 and ran her first half marathon in January 2010. Go Nicole! She and I are similary built and where as I have hypertension she suffered from heart disease during her pregnancy years ago, however she finished her conversation about not being a runner and started running!